Today’s post is almost more of a rant if you will. It probably will not be filled with cute or funny gifs, but some pretty serious thoughts that have been floating around in my head. I felt like others could relate, so hence today’s blog post. As some of you may know, I am the product of a few different races. I am Black, White, Portuguese and Jewish; just to name a few. I love being mixed. I think it is one of the factors that makes me cool and different.
At different times of the year my skin can be almost as light as my mother’s. At other times it can be on the warmer side, like my father’s. I love my beautiful skin. Sometimes my hair will be worn as straight as what people would associate to be my mother’s side. Other times my hair will be curly, as what seems to be associated with my father’s side. I love my beautiful hair and the versatility that it offers me.
I feel like often times throughout my life I have been made to feel as if I have to choose between which side I want to associate with. As if I have to deem which side is best and stick with it, not being allowed to be all things that make me, well, me. Why is the world this way?
I was recently speaking with someone I know and he had said to me, ” I guess you want to be Black now, since you recently started wearing your hair curly again.” First off, the statement completely pissed me off. Is curly hair only reserved for Black people? So, the days I wear my hair straight, which is mostly all the time, I am being White? *stupid*
I’ve also been told that America only sees me for one race, which is Black. I couldn’t disagree with that statement more. As stated previously, I am more than one race, why deny myself the other things that make me who I am. If given the choice to have one amazing thing or four amazing things, would you not want to have all the amazingness? I have also been asked, “What do you self-identify as?” Well personally, I like to think of myself as a mermaid. Ok, so seriously I do want to be a mermaid, but even more serious; why do I have to pick one race? What’s up with this “self-identify” shit? I am what I am, I don’t get to choose…it just is what it is and I love it. Don’t try to make me change it.
I think as people, we all have certain preferences as to what we are attracted to in another person. Not to say we are closed-mined, vain or evil people. We like what we like, nothing wrong with it. Personally, I always had a preference for White dudes. Yup, I said it, White dudes. *Everyone falls off of their chairs*. Relax, I have nothing against other races, it’s just what I have always found as my personal preference, while not being closed off to another race if I was interested. Due to my preference, I have been called a sell-out. Another ridiculous statement. Who am I selling out? I AM WHITE! HELLO!? To take it another step further, even if I was 100% Black, I would still have the right to date outside of my race. Please remove yourselves from the 1940’s.
As people, we spend WAY too much time labeling people. We spend WAY too much time focusing our attention on the dumbest, most irrelevant things. Instead of being focused on what shade my skin is today, or if I just got a fresh Brazilian Keratin Blowout…be more concerned that people are dying right in our own backyard. Focus on the fact that we have neighbors that will go to bed tonight with nothing in their stomachs. Focus on the fact that crime and death by some violent act is on the rise.
Some of you will appreciate and share this post. Others, will look at this as some stupid blog post from the scorned mixed chick. It is what it is, but I hope this wakes some people up. Stop labeling people. Stop making people choose what they want to identify as, let them be who they are, Stop telling people how they are to live their lives. We are all on our perfect journey’s, as crazy and messed up as some may be. Can we start focusing on the fact that we are all just people. Let’s start thinking about the words that come out of our mouths, about the posts we post, and about the memes that we spread around social media.
Stop making everything a Black thing. Stop making everything a White thing. Stop making everything a man thing. Stop making everything a woman thing. Let’s just make it a love people and mind your business thing.
Sincerely,
The mixed girl who is never going to be just one thing
I loved your blog it is so sad more ppl don’t think as we do. I am white of Italian Scottish anda couple other nationalities but I have and always had kinky course hair over the years I can not tell you how many times I have been asked what are you? My answer I am me . My preference in men has always been black don’t know why not to insult anyone but do we choose what we like and don’t when asked why I usually ask what kind of ice cream do you like and why? Thank you again for such and enlighting blog and you are a beautiful young lady
Hi Flipp. Thank you for your kind words and checking out my blog. I laughed when you said your answer was ” I am me.” I absolutely love that answer! Keep being you! xox
I hear you and agree! One mixed chic to another!!
I’m glad you get it, Malin! Thanks for checking out my blog 🙂 xox
Awesome post! I am white and my boyfriend is black. We have a beautiful daughter together and I will definitely teach her to embrace both and never define herself as either white or black because she is both. I never understood the need to choose!!!! You are both and that’s it, that’s all!
Hi Annie! Thank you for checking out my blog! Yes, never let your daughter think less than. She is a beautiful creature from God. She should never have to choose, she is made of wonderful things! Be happy and proud of it! xox
Excellent post . . . my kids are all mixed and I try to tell them this exact same thing be who you are and be proud. My oldest is white, black and native american . . . makes for some real cool features. My middle and youngest are just white and black . . . but both very different from each other. I think mixed people make the most beautiful people. They are lucky enough to get all the best traits from each race that they are, for the most part. Isn’t everyone mixed for real anyways?? German and Irish, English and Indian . . .etc . . . there is not one pure race. We are all mixed.
Exactly, Nicole! Thank you for checking out my blog! I am glad to see that you felt it meant something to you and your children’s lives. The more, the better as far as I am concerned. We are all beautiful people and should focus on trying to make the world a better place. xox
Great article. I have mixed kids black and white and I remember when my first baby was born she was lighter than people thought she should be. Why shouldn’t she be lighter anyway I use to think I am white. People use to ask me if my husband was really black. Those words hurt for many reasons. We’re people trying to mould my child into what she should be instead of what she just is. She is 6 now and her skin colour is a beautiful blend of both of my husband and me. And I always tell her you have a part of your mum and dad in you but most importantly you are Grace.
I also felt it hard on when a cousin who is also mixed was born and was darker. Then everyone use to compare my daughter to her like I had done someone wrong in the genetic pool to have a lighter child. Why should this matter? Does this mean she is any less black then her cousin.
Sorry I could talk for a while on this topic so to end on high note thank you for discussing this issue. It is refreshing to see I do not struggle alone with this issue. You would have a lot of Mum’s, Dad’s and kids going through the these issues.
Hi Allison! Thank you for checking out my blog! I am glad this post spoke to you as it seems to be a topic that a lot of others deal with. I was nervous at first to even talk about this, but now, I am so glad I did. We are all just people, no matter what race or races. Your children are even more special as far as I am concerned and never let them feel less than ;). xox
You’re a beautiful girl(women) no matter what color you are. Many blessings and positive thoughts! ?
Thank you, Stacy. Your kind words are beautiful. Thank you for checking out my blog. Stay amazing! xox
I ADORE this! As a fellow mixed chick who’s heard it all and is now married to a Hispanic I deal with these issues everyday. People will put you in a box that they think you belong in but being mixed is such a huge part of who I am, why should we have to fight to embrace it?
Exactly, Amalia! Thank you so much for checking out my blog! I am glad that my post spoke to you and that you can relate! Being mixed is a wonderful thing and we all need to shatter the box that so many people put us in! Rock on and keep being amazing! xox
I wish I could kiss you right now. I have bi racial kids. My husband go to work everyday put his life on the line to feed them. When did they become black ? What he don’t matter? I have this conversation everyday you want to label ? Label your self not my kids. I teach them that everyday you are not Black don’t care what anyone say , you are biracial and nothing else don’t ever disrespect the man who feed you and there for you don’t matter what. My daughter is 8 she has this conversation in school almost everyday it’s sad really. Thanks again keep being you. Love !
Hi Nina! Thanks so much for checking out my blog! I am glad that it resonated with you and I totally get it! Keep telling your kids exactly who and what they are, not just with race. They should be proud of everything that makes them, them!!! Thanks for the love and support, girl!! xox
I seriously love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme.
Did you build this site yourself? Please
reply back as I’m hoping to create my own website and would like to find out where you got this from or just what the
theme is named. Kudos!
Hi, Kristen! Yes, I built it! But built the theme with the help of an amazing site! Thank you for stopping by and glad you like 🙂
You can certainly see your expertise in the article you write.
The sector hopes for more passionate writers such as
you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. All the time
follow your heart.
Well written…and we talk about biracial/multiracial topics, as well as race vs. culture and how people perceive us, all the time over at The Topaz Club over at Facebook. You’re welcome to join us! Also, if you know of any other (part black) biracial/multiracial ladies who might benefit from being a part of us, then please spread the word about us!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/thetopazclub/
Awesome! Thanks for checking out my blog! I will definitely check you guys out. xox <3
Your blog spoke volumes and i really enjoyed reading it… It’s so sad that so many people are so close minded these days. With all the violence in the country and poverty, and all people can focus on is race?! I really hope more people read this and open their eyes. God bless you girl