Ok, so as most of you know, I can be a little dramatic. Hence the title, nine million reasons. Of course there are many reasons why online dating is sucky, but I could never be bothered to think of nine million different reasons.
Years ago, online dating was sort of taboo. It was the way that people met on the “down low.” It was almost viewed as a “loser’s way of meeting people.” Fast forward years and years later and now online dating is all the rage. There are multiple websites you can join to meet “that special someone'”. There are apps on apps on apps on apps for online dating. Coffee meets donut.com, plenty of fish somewhere out there.com, the last guys/girls on earth.com…you name it, it probably exists.
I personally joined this crowd of online “love seekers” a year ago. I have heard great things about online dating and I have heard complete horror stories. Let’s just say, that I lean more towards the horror side. It’s a tricky business, meeting a complete stranger over the internet. I mean come on, nowadays you don’t even know if it’s truly a man you are speaking with or old Aunt Sally looking to have a good time. *gross*
So stick with me while I go over 9 million reasons why online dating sucks.
1.WOW, you don’t look like your picture!
Now, of course this is something said in my head and not out loud for the guy I just met to hear. HOWEVER, I can’t tell you how many times I have come face to face with false advertising. GUYS/GIRLS stop posting old photos. Stop posting pictures of your “good angle”. Stop posting posting pictures with your mouth closed, when your teeth look like they’re throwing up gang signs. Just STOP!
2.POSTING FALSE INFORMATION IN YOUR PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION.
While Jesus and your mom may love everything about you, some people may not and that is OK! However, you need to be forthcoming in your physical description! While looks are not everything, they do matter to some people *clears throat*. So guys, if you’re 5’7″… you probably should not post that you are 5’10” because you feel girls will respond to you this way. You’re lying and no one likes a liar…bad, BAD start to a relationship. This was an experience of mine on a few dates and it pissed me off. Be upfront about everything, if the other person doesn’t like it, then oh well. At least you were honest! Take me for who and what I am or don’t take me at all, damnit!
3.BEING ONE WAY OVER TEXT/BEING ANOTHER WAY ON THE DATE.
You tell him, Wednesday Addams! There was this guy that I had been talking to via text for a week prior to agreeing to meet on a date. He was the funniest, cutest, sweetest thing. BOOM…date night comes around and crickets! It was almost as if he handed his phone to a friend for a week to talk to me, because he was incapable of speaking. When I tell you that he literally did not say more than 10 words the entire night, I am not exaggerating! Can I just tell you how badly I wanted to sink into the booth?! Talk about awkward exchanges. Hi, waiter…yeah, kill me please. Thank you!
4.JUST WANTS SEX/HOOKUP.
Oh, this one…this is my favorite! And by favorite, I mean HATE. I have never in my life been so exposed to people who want to meet just to have sex or hook up. Mmmmm, HELLO?! This is a serious dating website, if you want sleazy hook ups, go to your local bar! I never thought I would have to post this disclaimer on my online profile, “Hi! Let me first start off by saying, if you are only looking for a hookup, something casual or “Netflix and chill”… Please keep it moving, as I am not the girl for you :)” Boy, BYE!
4.CREEPY MESSAGES.
The creepy messages are almost a given if you are a part of the online dating world, as I am sure I am not alone on this one. Most of them are R rated, so I’ll refrain from posting, but others are just creepy. Like 70 year old men wanting to spoil me and ” take me out”. Yes, I literally threw up in my mouth reading that message. Good times, good times.
5.MARRIAGE PROPOSALS.
Yes, marriage proposals. From total and complete strangers. Now, you may be sitting there thinking it was a harmless joke meant to break the ice. No, we’re talking about actual proposals, paid proposals even. People who keep writing you asking you for your hand in marriage, until you decide to block the creep because he just won’t get the hint. You can’t make this stuff up.
6.BEING ASKED FOR NUDES.
Another one of my favorites *insert major eye roll.* People reaching out specifically for nudes? Legit, you can go on Google and find naked images nowadays, why hound me?! Gag.
7. THE PERSISTENT PERSON.
This one is a simple fix, but still super annoying. When you see that I have ignored your messages, leave me alone. I am simply not interested and that is ok. You do not have to message me, wink me, favorite me and comment on pictures to get my attention. Please do not annoy me, you will be blocked. Ugh
8.THE STALKER.
There is something flattering about the fact that you want to get to know me, it means you are interested. But please, please do not start following me on every social media app/site. Looking into where I work and my network of friends/ associates. Now, you are creeping me out and making me want to run! Lets take it slow and then maybe we can become Facebook friends, K?! :-/
So there it is, 8 sucky things about online dating. Now listen, I am not saying to cancel your memberships with any of these sites. I am not saying stay single forever and become a cat lady or a 70 year old player. Don’t get me wrong, people have found true love off of these sites, so for some, online dating has been wonderful. My bestie even met her hubby that way. Currently, I am a member in hopes that maybe someone won’t be so awfully creepy? Here’s to hoping …. #Dating2016
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